I have been putting off writing a post about dinner for quite some time now. So long, that at this point, I've spent as much time thinking about why it's so difficult, as about the actual post.
We are all really busy, you and I. We have kids, we have jobs, we have homes, friends, foes, foibles. Lives.
Dinner, in any big family, is complicated. But as with just about any other subject, dinner in a big, blended family, is extra-complicated.
Perhaps it's been hard for me to tackle this subject because it cannot be separated from so many other things, which make for difficult writing at the least, and complex reading, to be sure. My most palpable fear is that what I have to say will be taken the wrong way, as some sort of manifesto, rather than what it is: simply, how we do things.
So, if you will, I proceed with part one: dinner with kids.
Yikes.
::
We have kids here every.day. But, with varying schedules, where some kids are coming home from school, going out to activities, coming back from practices, going over to other houses for the night, and stopping off briefly (I'm talking thirty minutes) for dinner, before going to the next thing, (and remember, this is just some kids, some of the time: some others are home, or coming home, or four, and waiting for someone to come home); dinner with kids could be a total crapshoot.
But, it's not.
Dinner with kids is eight plates and cups and bowls and napkins, around the table Tim's mom had in her house in Santa Cruz. It's and hour or two of prep work for thirty minutes of shouting and laughing and whining and "would you please put your bottom on your chair" and a million other things.
But it is not a crapshoot.
It is me, planning, choosing, buying, preparing, setting, cooking, drinking, (oh! did I say that out loud? but seriously, do you think I'm doing all this without a glass of wine?) and putting out, so that when the last girl is home, the last one has changed her clothes, and done her homework, and put her bike in the garage, and charged her iPod; when the last girl has brought her violin up out of the front hall to her room, filled out her reading log, cleaned up the scraps from collage-ing; when they've all at the very.last.minute come back from the neighbors' trampoline, and we've shuttled out the door any kids who are not ours (sometimes); when they've all washed their hands: we can eat.
::Tim makes pizza: we buy Whole Foods organic pizza dough for $1.49 each, white or wheat. We make our own organic tomato sauce ($1.19 a can), fresh mozzarella (really expensive, but essential), basil (fresh and free, all summer in the yard), sometimes peppers, rarely other toppings. We're light on toppings, but big dippers: hot sauce, olive oil, balsamic vinegar (sometimes all together). The crust is that good. I should really just be writing a whole pizza post.
::We make burritos: flour tortillas, black beans cooked with salsa and lime juice, brown rice, shredded cheddar (no cheese for JoJo, if you recall), hot sauce (again, always) and grape tomatoes halved with lime juice and cilantro. (I suppose it's the lazy version of fresh salsa.)
::Our girls are big salad eaters, as long as I have the right stuff. I wouldn't buy iceberg (although I love it, don't get me wrong), but I do buy romaine hearts ("the crunchy kind.") when I can't get good, fresh mixed greens from the market. They fall into two camps: ranch (one girl stands alone, here) and vinaigrette. But we've made whole meals out of "salad bar", where I put out everything from roasted chicken, shredded, and nuts, cheeses, sunflower seeds, etc...and they make their own.
I find anything that they can customize works well: salad, baked potatoes, tacos, omelets, etc...
::Pasta of course is my favorite thing to give them. I feel that if I've cooked a homemade sauce, good garlic bread, and a fresh salad, I'm pretty much done. I directly attribute this to a book I used to read to my nephew about Elmo's first sleepover, at which this was the meal that comforted him at his friend's house. At the time, I was a childless twentysomething and took this to be "what families with kids eat." I still think "they" were not far off.
::We grill often, year round: Tim grills all sorts of things: burgers and dogs (organic and nitrate free-easily found and not all that expensive), pork tenderloins and the occasional steak. Tuna steaks are a huge hit, but man, are they a budget breaker. Really good though. And make excellent tacos the next day. He's even been known to grill burritos.
He has that "man make fire" thing. You know what I'm talking about, right?
::I love to make things in casseroles: lasagna, real mac & cheese, chicken pot pie, this pasta dish with vegetables I made up one day, in Maine last summer, that I still can't believe the kids like as much as they do.
::No Knead Bread. Always.
::Milk, and then bottles and bottles of water.
Oh, is one of you still awake? I'm sorry, I know this is probably tedious. But this is exactly my point. It's endless. Tedious. Complicated.
Dinner. For eight. Over, and over again.
But you know what? It's really my most favorite thing to do.
It's not always my favorite time. I'm tired. I've just spent hours preparing what they are either complaining about, or devouring in an instant, loudly.
But they are doing it right next to their sisters. Across from their mom and their dad. Playing out the end of whatever mood they were in for the day, and trying out all sorts of ideas about themselves they can't dip their toes into anywhere else. Playing off of everyone else at that table, knowing that no matter what, we will all be sitting next to them the next time, asking them to pass the whatever, and loving them, all the same.
More tomorrow. Thanks for reading.
tt
ps: breakfast, lunch, and snacks, here.
All the good pictures tonight were taken by Callie. Not these, these are mine. But she ran off with a smile and my camera, and on Thursday, maybe, you'll see some of those. But they are not mine to share. They are hers.
I know you are out there, sitting at your desk, thinking about how the stretch of beach was never ending, and how you could think about things on that walk that you can't, when you are driving in your car to the train station. There is more room there. It's summer there on the beach.
We had a wonderful weekend, despite this evidence to the contrary.
I don't know if I mentioned that we have only one child around this weekend, and very few plans.
I know this is not news to anyone, but man-oh-man, Monday comes on fast and furious sometimes.
Dear Lisa and Maria,
I love::
::tea, and a morning movie, in bed.
