hi from sunday night.

hi.
i was going to write a post tonight. you know, one of the old sort of posts, where i'd write well and thoughtfully and maybe even say something you'd want to read...

but here's what happened tonight:

we made sushi, at lindsey's request.
she turned thirteen yesterday.
we didn't see her yesterday.
that's a first.
and as confused as i was about what it meant that i didn't see her on her birthday-after all, i haven't missed one since the day she was born-she seemed to manage it just fine.
but really, who knows.
who knows how we manage things,
until we don't.

tangent.

tonight:
we made sushi.
and we hung out on the couch longer than usual.
we opened presents.
and the boys came over.
and we took an awful lot of photos.
and we got ready for monday.
and we had tea.

and now,
now-
it is time.for.bed.

even for the thirteen-year-old.
especially, for the thirteen-year-old.

more soon.
xo,
tt

from the archives: or, i haven't gone to pick up film in so long, i don't remember if i even have any film to pick up.

but i remember this day;
anna and i wound up somehow in the city.
and she and i, just us, went to the smile.
while not the most stellar of places,
it is one of my favorites.
for the sign out front.
for the props. (for that's what they are...)
for the pickles.
for the fact that it's across the street from dashwood books.

in any event,
i've been scanning old slides this week, if you haven't caught on.

::

i've also been indoctrinating anna into a few of her sisters' childhood songs. when i played this, callie came running upstairs from her (new!!) room. she wasn't sure what she was hearing, but she knew it by heart.

::

i've also been working from home...do you all know that i've gone and gotten myself a job?
(or, more accurately, a job has come and gotten me?)

::

i'm also going to be forty-five-years-old tomorrow.

but enough about me.

xo,
tt

hi from sunday night.

lately around here we've been around here,
a lot.
our unofficial, unspoken, and unintentional new year's resolution seems to be:
more time together.

yes, sure. this is due to a full half of us being grounded for an over-long period of time.
and yes, sure, not all of us see this as being a positive turn of events.

but.
well, i think they might.

the strangest thing is, after the initial complaints-and they were many and L.O.U.D.
we seem to have settled into complacency.

we are home.
together.
everyday.

and let me tell you.
(let me tell you before the chorus of "what a gift to have this time together!")
let me tell you,
it's been ugly at times.

but it's been pretty damn beautiful, too.

ugly, loud, beautiful.

oy, i need a break.

::

best wishes to you.
more soon.
xo,
tt

back in the summer, when it was warm, and we spent our nights down at the river.

scanning some slide film, on this first snowy day, as i don't have much else i need to be doing.

enjoy tonight,
best wishes.
xo,
tt.

oh, hi.

what are you doing up so late?
(or so early...)

go to bed.
i'm going to bed.

more tomorrow.
(i guess it is tomorrow.?.)

xo,
tt

at dinner tonight we were our worst, best, loudest selves. but there we were, all of us. plus one.

and then, with much effort, we erased all traces of that loud crazy dinner.
and now we sit here
with our tea.
we wait as The Loud Ones make done with their day,
until we can crawl
ourselves
under quilts,
and spend the night-
the quiet long night-
facing one another,
until the next day.

more soon.
xo,
tt

hi from sunday night.

a long weekend.
a good, long weekend.

xo,
tt

a few things that have knocked me flat, lately.

i think this song may be the best song i've ever heard. i'm serious.

chicken chili, cooked most of the day long.

loose leaf tea.

my new spectra film.

a few isolated incidents of unnecessary kindness between our daughters.

finally getting a long overdue night with a friend.

how much i like going (back) to work (after fifteen years, no less.)

lindsey's compositions on the piano. it seems unreal that she can make up such music off the top of her head, and from the tips of her twelve-year-old fingers.

my father talking to me about some bad news, and feeling he's talking from his heart.

looking around my house at all the things i love that have been gifted to me from friends.

tim.

::

more soon.
xo,
tt

this afternoon, even the power lines and empty branches looked beautiful.

we've been walking together in the late afternoon. when we come back, it's time to turn the front door light on, light the candle in the hallway, and pour a glass of wine.

i don't mind the winter days at all.
but i would like a bit of snow.

more soon.
xo,
tt

speaking of true love...

oh, how i've missed this spectra film. this is the old stuff, from the impossible project.

(liz, this is what i bought with your christmas gift. thank you, truly.)

also, i am determined to get in to see this before the end of the month.

more soon.
xo,
tt

leftovers and inspiration.

still clearing off my desk...more b&w film from a dinner across the street last month.

and,
tim went to the library with some of the girls yesterday, and brought back a few photography books for me.

i've just gone through one of them-mary ellen mark.

good lord, people! remember, i'm just making this up as i go along. i've not a single photography course under my belt. so to discover these amazing artists pretty much remakes my world each and every time.

and this time was big time.

ok.
bedtime for anna, and tonight, calzones for the rest of us.

good things.

xo,
tt

borrowed.

happy saturday, to you.
trying to clean out some film shots i've got piled up on my desk and hanging around my hard drive...

these four are shots i took of a client's house, with pedro's yashica mat.
i love that camera, but haven't been shooting enough with it.
i really should count on giving it back to him soon, so i'm going to dust it off today (figuratively) and get going.

best wishes for a relaxing weekend.
xo,
tt

hi.

i can hear him reading up there.
i've got just a few minutes.
they're up there too.
(although they just came down for toast.)
now one in the shower,
singing.
one on the computer,
talking to her friend, live and full-screen.
both growing up and away.
i can feel it now, in such tiny but certain increments.

even the little one,
now i need to be firm.
need to do what's good for her,
not just coddle,
not just stroke.

and him.
well.
about him, i feel just as raw and fresh as ever.
there is no settling.
oh, it's so safe and secure,
to be sure.

but when you are in love,
you never completely step back from the edge
of falling.

we've got so much farther to go,
but
we've come such a long way.

more soon.
xo,
tt